November 20,
2008
My Best Friend in Kyrgyzstan
Based on my two months at my permanent site, best friend options are limited to fellow volunteers, the few people I meet through them, colleagues and students. The fifth choice is “none of the above” and given that I'm a solitary man (Neil Diamond) by nature, it is a viable option. But, I have found someone with whom I can laugh and joke, serve as a mentor and ask for help in just about any situation. She is an 18 year old student at the university and her name is Aijamal. We met when she asked if she could attend one of my extra classes for English conversation. I said yes even though I wasn't accepting second year students because her English was so good. Better than some of my 5th year pupils. She accompanies me when I need a translator; gives me advice about anything Kyrgyz; she's a writer in the drama club; and I'm helping in her efforts to get accepted to a program (Erasmus Mundus) where she can study in the States next year. (Sometimes I think I shouldn't be such a help. Who wants to lose a best friend?) She has a great sense of humor and a hunger to learn that is rarely seen in a student of any nationality. She is the most unlikely candidate for “best friend of a 53 year old American man”, but unlikely candidates sometimes win the race, right?
Most
girls in Kyrgyzstan seemed to be married by twenty or shortly thereafter,
either by their own volition or bride kidnapped. Girls under twenty, as I learned over my two years in Talas, were almost universally kidnapped. Once wed, they had no time for a
social life. Newly married women are called keilins (kay-lins), which means
they have to cook, clean, bake and anything else their mothers-in-law ask of
them; tell them is more like it. I liken them to indentured servants. A Kyrgyz
friend of mine, who is a keilin, calls herself a slave. As an example, this
friend, S, performs all of the duties listed above and teaches
full-time at a university. Her usual day runs from 6 am to midnight, sometimes
later.
More in the book regarding the availability of friends, cross cultural marriage in Kyrgyzstan and I answer the question, "Did Aijamal study abroad and where?"
