October 13, 2008
Living With a Family vs. Living
Alone
New volunteers must live with host families for a minimum of three months. After that we can move into an apartment. In my case, this will be December 20th. I was of the opinion I would move on that day or shortly after. As with any decision, I must consider the pros and cons of each alternative. I like living alone and apartments are virtually the only domiciles in my city with indoor toilets. During winter, when it’s zero or lower outside, that’s a huge plus. Still, it’s not the only factor to consider. Other positives include eating what and when you want (Out of respect for their values, I won’t cook pork in my host family’s house because they don’t eat it for religious reasons) and doing what you want, whenever you want. The negatives of apartment living? They can be very cold if the electricity is out for any length of time. (I hear rumblings of no power for 8 hours each day this winter.) If you need something fixed, the wait can be weeks. Also, it can be awfully quiet as I don’t have a TV. (I have to watch my DVDs on my computer.) As much as I like my solitude, living in a foreign land can be a lonely existence.
What are the advantages of living with a host family for two years? Well, in my case, there are several. I live two blocks from the university. Moving would mean a 20 minute walk (see winter weather above). Company (also see above). My family has a washing machine (huge plus), a banya (what better than a hot sauna bath in the middle of winter), power all the time (we live close to the hospital), and four tons of coal (heat, heat and more heat). Even though I told them I will cook for myself, they still insist in feeding me occasionally (and won’t accept any money from me). In my present situation, I spend much time in my room reading books and writing, but when I tire of that it’s nice to have someone around to talk with, even if the language barrier is a struggle. And this morning, I saw firsthand how much I think they would like me to live with them for my entire two years. An eating table with chairs was delivered to the house. My host mother said she decided to have it made when she agreed to have a volunteer from America live in her house. In other words, the table was made for me. Well, not just me as it seats ten, but you get the idea. I told her since arriving in Kyrgyzstan, I’ve really come to like sitting on the floor to eat, but I will gladly take a seat at the new table. To break it in, I even ate a second breakfast. Now, how do I tell them that I might be moving in December after they had furniture made on my account? I’d feel awful.
One of the favorite phrases of my students is “time will tell.” Well, time will tell if I stay or if I go. It will not be an easy decision. It will be especially difficult to tell them I’m leaving if it’s done while we’re sitting at the table.
I became attached to my second family as quickly
as I did my first, yet I still couldn’t wait to live in an apartment. Some
people would say that I was missing out on the full PC experience by not living
the full two years with a family. I disagree. The full experience should be
multi-faceted and living on my own, seeing how I could survive under that
circumstance, added another facet to my volunteer life. Okay, so having a flush
toilet was quite an incentive, too.
The end of my mandatory three months coincided
with me leaving the university, but I didn’t move at that time for a few
reasons. First, I had two months winter holiday because of the expected
electricity shortage I wrote about earlier. I also didn’t know where my next
assignment would be. I could have been moved to another oblast as I worked at
the only university in mine. I had to see how that played out. No sense moving
only to have to move again in a couple of months. Unbeknownst to me, the
technical college in town also employed English teachers, so I transferred
there. I was happy, because I liked Talas and didn’t want to leave. Once I knew
where I’d be working second semester, I could have moved, but it was December and
my family had that four tons of coal to keep me warm. That pretty much decided
my fate until March when more springlike weather arrived.
Also in the book, more on the plusses and minuses of this issue and, for the first time, I talk about being a crime victim in my own house.
