February 15, 2009
Words to Live By
I'm
a fairly avid reader and over the years, while enjoying one of my favorite
pastimes, I have been searching for words that I feel best describe
me. You know, how I've lived, why I do what I do, why I have the
values and philosophies I do, etc. I've looked in Shakespeare,
self-help books, cookbooks, you name it. Some seem to be a good fit
at first glance, but further inspection (introspection may be a better word)
deems them inadequate. I think the major pitfall in assigning a
specific quote or sentence to definitively describe us as beings—if it can, in
fact, be done to any degree of accuracy and long term personal satisfaction—lies
in over-romanticizing who we believe ourselves to be. Or would like
others to see us. So, although I believe I've found the words that
best fit me, they are only my truth as I see myself.
I
found “my” sentence while reading a novel by Chingis Aitmatov, the best known
Kyrgyz writer to date. He is held in god-like esteem in this
country, even more so since his death in early 2008 at the age of
79. He's a fabulous novelist. The three stories I read
centered on peasant life in Kyrgyzstan during communist times and all took
place in and near the village where he was raised in western Kyrgyzstan, close
to the Kazakh border. I don't know if these words are his or he
borrowed them from someone for his book, but as soon as I read them, I said aloud,
“That's me.”
I
like the sentence because it certainly describes my writing. Early
on, people asked why this white guy had mostly black characters in his
plays. And does he think he knows them well enough to write them
with any authenticity? Rather than give into the criticism, I stayed
true to me heart and wrote what I felt. I also feel it hits at the
core of why I've made the decisions and moves I have in my
life. Now, I realize this sentence may sound to some like it should
be ascribed to more heroic figures than myself and I risk being chided, accused
of having delusions of grandeur or totally dismissed. Maybe, if I
were on the outside looking in, I would think similar thoughts. But,
I'm not, so I don't. So, without further ado or explanation, here
are my words which I feel I have lived by:
Courage and Risk are born of the Same Mother.
In the book: more about the risk taking life I've led.
