November 9, 2009
I Want to Pull My Hair
Out!!!
I'm
punctual. I'm not usually on time. I'm usually early. I can't
help it. I remember having to be at a play reading in Manhattan at 6 pm. These
things never start on time so being punctual was not a necessity. I knew
it usually took me about 40 minutes to get there. I left my apartment at
5:30. Wouldn't you know a train was pulling into every station where I
needed one. I arrived at 5:55. Even when I try to be late, I
can't. But, don't think I'm the King of Early. That would be my
dad.
Time
takes a different meaning in Kyrgyzstan depending on the situation. Classes
always start on time. Meetings sometimes do; often times don't. Social
events? Fugeddaboutit. A 5 pm party will rarely begin before 6. Closer
to 7 most likely. I've learned to time my departures accordingly.
But,
there's one aspect of time that drives me wild. If a student can't make a private
class they never call to say they can't. They just don't show up. If
they're going to be late, they simply arrive when they can. I guess they
think our classes are a social event, and in many ways they are, but they
should still let me know of any schedule changes. I tell them that this is
inconsiderate and unprofessional, you know, trying to impress upon them that
they can't do this in the real world after college. A couple have learned
very well. The others...?
I
think I know where this behavior originated. It stems from living in
country which until recently had little access to technology. Even in a
city like Talas, many people still don't have a land line in their house or
apartment. Someone in the family probably has a cell phone, but that
doesn't mean there are units on it to make a call. The most common excuse
for not calling someone, for whatever reason, is “I had no units.” No cell
plans here. It's pay as you call. Actually, I like it. Cell
phones are still relatively new here. Five years ago barely anybody
outside of Bishkek had one because cell towers hadn't been built out in the
sticks. Village residents have neither type of phone, especially if they
live in a remote or mountainous area. Anyway, what I'm getting at is this:
the ability to notify someone that you'll be absent or late is a relatively new
option. And the importance of doing so hasn't reached high priority status
yet.
Frustrating? Yeah,
for an on-time guy like me. End of the world? Nope. After all,
the commodity in largest supply for a volunteer is time. What upsets me
most are the lost classes. Classes I really want to teach and they need.
People definitely treat time differently in the
countries I’ve lived in and traveled to since 2008 than in the US. I can
attribute a large portion of the decrease in my stress level to letting go of
my frustration concerning time. I had two choices in Kyrgyzstan: fight a losing
battle or change the way I look at time. I chose the latter. I don’t believe
I’ve accomplished less because a meeting starts an hour late or an appointment
is rescheduled three times.
We’re taught that time wasted can’t be
recovered, which is true, but that doesn’t mean if you’re not losing time that
you’re achieving anything of vast, or even minimal, importance. Americans are
professional time wasters. And when that work appointment was canceled, what were
you doing during that time? At the turn of the century, people would read a
newspaper, surf the web or go outside for a smoke break. In 2016, playing
Spider Solitaire comes to mind, or messaging on FB or WhatsApp. I wonder how
many people fill it with something useful.
I’m still an on-time guy. The difference is I
have e-books and Duolingo, the language learning app, on my phone in case I
have to wait for someone to arrive. (And, yes, Spider Solitaire, too) I also
have a notepad app so I can write if ideas pop into my head. These are much
more pleasant activities than looking at your cell phone for the time every two
minutes while your anger percolates to a boil so when your late arriver finally
shows, the first thing you do is ignore them, make a sarcastic remark or, worse
yet, yell, ensuring the meeting or evening’s plans will not be very enjoyable.
Forgetting about punctuality in others and preparing yourself for a wait will
eliminate so much stress in your life it will surprise you. I know. Man, does
that sound like a self-help book, or what? “Your Way to a Stress Free Life.”
Dr. Wayne Dyer would be proud of me.
